“The future will be better tomorrow.”
Vice President Dan Quayle (1988-92)

In the spirit of having a better tomorrow in the future, here are my Predictions for 2016:

Airport Skydiving Noise
Mile-High Skydiving and Citizens for Quiet Skies agree to a truce after a scientific study paid for by “POOPD”, (Preserve Our Only Prairie Dogs) determines the noise coming from the twin engine Otter aircraft used by Mile-High is a close match in tone and cadence to a prairie dog mother’s soothing coos to her offspring. Citizens for Quiet Skies immediately drops their lawsuit appeal and Mile-High agrees to cover their aircraft in fake fur and paint to give them a prairie dog appearance.
Boulder County Commissioners “Inclusive Paving”
Unincorporated roads in Boulder County to get needed repairs after the Commissioners determined that tax paying citizens living in unincorporated Boulder County probably qualify to be included under the following BC commitment to being an inclusive community: “As a community, Boulder County explicitly welcomes all residents regardless of their age, race, ethnicity, country of origin, sexual preference of gender identity, ability, religion, income, political persuasion, or cultural practices.” “We came to the realization that the unincorporated citizens should be extended the same inclusive treatment as others, including Middle Eastern refugees, after we studied our inclusive community statement, said one of the Commissioners, who also added, we are still determining if our “inclusive commitment” has to be extended to Donald Trump supporters.”
Village at the Peaks Adds Winter Trolley
Based on customer concerns, NewMark Merrill, along with the newest retail clothing outlet, “Frack-No Frocks,” have decided to add a winter trolley with heated seats designed to shuttle customers from one store to another during the cold winter months. The service will be free with stops at all “open” retail outlets. A contest will be held to name the shuttle, with the winner getting a gift certificate to “Half Foods” if/when they open. Here’s a couple of my name ideas: “Bunsen Burner” and “Hot Pants Express.”
RTD Delivers on NW Rail Line – Sort Of
In a remarkable about face, RTD takes full responsibility for making empty promises and using Boulder County taxpayer contributions to complete Denver Metro Light Rail projects. With that confession, they have come up with a new NW Rail Line solution. Since using the existing Warren Buffet owned Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad lines are price prohibitive and his freight business is booming, including oil tanker shipments, RTD is proposing the following by 2018: adding a “train only” lane to the Diagonal/119 Hwy from Longmont to Boulder, painting rail tracks on the lane and using a “train like” efficient fuel vehicle that could carry hundreds of passengers per trip. Each vehicle would be equipped with a vintage train whistle and helpful conductors to assist passengers with questions. Asked about the rest of the NW route from Boulder to Denver, an RTD spokesman indicated a $50,000 study might be needed. Well, gotta go! Happy New Year!