Month: January 2020

Alas, it’s time for my annual local predictions, which might be as welcome as your property tax assessment or “Boomtown” utility bill. In past years I’ve used various techniques to peek into the future, from looking through an opaque vessel, ala Nostradamus, to employing Climate Change computer models. Determined to use a more scientific process this year, I made an exhaustive list of predictions then enlisted my pet terrier Dom DeBoston to assist in picking the ones most likely to come true. I printed the numerous predictions on sustainable hemp cards and placed them randomly around my backyard. Over several days I chose the ones that were in closest proximity to where Dom practiced the process of elimination. In the words of Jackie Gleason, “And away we go!”

– “Show Us Your Cracks” Program: To fix the $300K botched attempt to repair street cracks due to a deceitful contractor, the City launches a marketing program in conjunction with a hip hop “saggy pants” manufacturer. Citizens are requested to send in photos of fissures needing repair.

– “HOPElessgate”: The “Not So Dynamic Duo” City Councilwomen accused of threatening the OUR Center from competing with HOPE and using their private email servers for City business will go on “double secret” probation losing their email privileges and will have to conduct all City business with City logoed postcards, to be reviewed by a local butcher, baker and candlestick maker.

– “Mega Cage Match”: They have run Longtown to make it the “Boomtown” it is today. I’m talking about Mayor Brian the “Barrister Beast” Bagley and Gordon the “Boa Constrictor Insider” Pedrow. They’ve had their recent “Which City Father Knows Best” disagreement. In the new year, they agree to a grudge match for charity (eliminating dueling, saber fencing and sumo wrestling). Maybe paintball at the Sugar Factory, rowing competition across Union Reservoir or a Longmont Trivia contest at the library.

– St. George vs. RTD Dragon Emerges: We continue to be fleeced by RTD for the Northwest Rail Line mirage. I predict a knight in shining armor will arise and pull “Excalibur” from the stone to lead a challenge to the RTD sham and get us out of this deceitful extortion and possibly get Longmont into a Northern Colorado Transit organization like TransFort. I know of a couple people in our City Government who have the business and “real world” experience, along with the fighter mentality to take this on.

– Boulder County Commissars Rubber Stamp: It was announced the Boulder Country Commissars voted unanimously to approve a $440 million budget for 2020. I predict since they are always in lockstep lacking any diversity of opinion in passing budgeting and county issues they will implement a unique rubber stamp with each of their initials and use it to approve any future decisions.

These predictions are purely conjecture on mine and Dom DeBoston’s part and should not be used for use in wagering or any impeachment proceedings. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

                                          Kris Harris moved here in 1960 and is a product of Longmont Public Schools and the University of Northern Colorado. He believes sarcasm deserves to be taken seriously.

Hypocrite, n. One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

Ambrose Bierce

On December 27th, Longmont United Hospital is closing its exercise and warm water pool facility, the United Health and Wellness Center, and forming a new partnership with the Ed and Ruth Lehman YMCA in Longmont. Andrew Ritz, the hospital’s VP of operations and COO, confirmed the closure, citing the 30-plus-year-old age of the facility and its repair requirements along with declining membership at the gym as factors. Three full-time employees, one part-time employee and three per-diem employees will be affected by the closure. The YMCA is considering expanding its facilities with a warm water pool, but this could take a year or more for completion. Parking and no valet service at the YMCA would make access difficult for many existing United Health and Wellness members. Also, having the current facility at the hospital allows for immediate care should they have a mild or catastrophic health event.

Nearly 200 people crowded into a hospital conference room on November 19th for a community meeting with LUH – Centura Health and YMCA representatives. Many attendees were upset at losing this vital Longmont resource for Seniors, the disabled and people recovering from injuries or surgeries and made several requests to alter plans to close the facilities on December 27th. Andrew Ritz responded that the pool was at ‘the end of life,” and the decision to close was final. I attended the community meeting and it wasn’t held to solicit constructive ideas or solutions, more of a “cover your (name for a donkey)” session. The decision had been made. Holding this meeting before the final closing decision was made would have been more productive for an organization that touts the “caring for community” mantra. Some requests to alter plans that were ignored during the meeting included:

Some other ideas I’ve had since the meeting include:

• Solicit a Donor interested in directing funds towards the pool.
• Start a “Go Fund Me” page.
• Members should contact UC Longs Peak Hospital to see if they are interested in adding a warm water pool in their future expansion.

I’ve seen the positive physical and mental effects the warm water pool has produced with my mother in helping her recover from a stroke. I’ve also witnessed the elation and sense of freedom others have enjoyed by leaving their walkers, canes or even wheelchairs at the side of the pool and moving unencumbered in the water. Here’s Centura Health’s Mission and Ethics Statements from their website:  

Centura Health Mission: We extend the healing ministry of Christ by caring for those who are ill and by nurturing the health of the people in our communities.

Here, ethics are always our guide: Centura Health promotes a workplace and health care environment that values the uniqueness of individuals. We believe our patients, associates, providers, volunteers, vendors and other business sources should be valued, respected, understood, satisfied and encouraged. Wonderful words, but empty promises when actions don’t reflect them. Sad that LUH – Centura Health decided to play the “Grinch” this holiday season and shut down a facility and program that helps nurture a large and growing segment of the local community.

Kris Harris moved here in 1960 and is a product of Longmont Public Schools and the University of Northern Colorado.